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Collect stories of you at your best
A reflective exercise to see your strengths through the stories of people who've watched you work
Why it’s worth your time
People who've seen you at your best often remember it more clearly than you do. A story of one specific moment, what you did and what it changed, shows a strength in action in a way a list of adjectives never can. Put a few side by side and the strengths that repeat are hard to argue with, even for you.
How to collect stories of your strengths
You’ll come away with a few stories from people who know you and a short paragraph describing you at your best.
We’ll send one calendar invite per step.
- Pick the day you'll send your asks.
The dates below are counted from your send date.
Set the date and every step below gets a real day.
- The day you send them · 10 minSend a short note to three to five people asking for one story of a time you were at your best.
- About five days later · 2 minSend one gentle reminder to anyone who hasn't replied, then let it go.
- About ten days later · 10 minRead each story on its own, then look across them for the strengths that repeat.
- Almost two weeks later · 5 minWrite a short paragraph describing yourself at your best, in your own words, drawn from the stories.
- Once your paragraph is written · 3 minThank each person and tell them one thing their story showed you.
We’ll send one calendar invite per step.
Keep going with Truest
Small actions add up. Truest helps you find the next thing worth doing, make the space to do it, and keep a record of your progress. It’s a private place to work on your career, and it’s yours, not your employer’s.
- It actually happensWe’ll put it on your calendar and remind you before it starts.
- Truest asks for youFor more voices, Truest asks the people you name and shows each answer next to your own.
- It’s yours to keepEach thing you do is saved to your private record, there when your next review or job search comes around.
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Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Give people time, keep it optional, and make clear a few sentences is plenty. Asking for one story, not several, is what keeps it easy to say yes to.
What might make this harder
Say why you're asking, to understand where you do your best work, and offer to return the favor. Most people find it a pleasant thing to be asked.
Questions people ask
What is the Reflected Best Self Exercise?
A method developed by researchers at the University of Michigan in which you ask people who know you for stories of when you were at your best, find the strengths that repeat, and write a short portrait of yourself at your best.
How do I find my strengths at work?
Ask a few people who know your work for one story of a time you were at your best, then look across the stories for what repeats. Stories of specific moments tend to reveal more than a list of traits.
What should I ask people about my strengths?
Ask for one specific story: what was happening, what you did, and what difference it made. A concrete moment is easier to recall and more useful than general praise.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Most people can list their weaknesses faster than they can describe their strengths. Strengths tend to feel ordinary from the inside, because they're the things that come easily. The people around you notice your strengths precisely because those strengths aren't ordinary to them. Asking for their stories is a way of borrowing their view.
This adapts the Reflected Best Self Exercise, developed by Laura Morgan Roberts, Jane Dutton and colleagues at the University of Michigan. In the original, you gather stories from a wide circle of people, find the themes, and write a portrait of yourself at your best. This one is lighter, a few people and one story each, but it keeps the heart of the method, which is asking for stories rather than scores.
Stories do something ratings can't. Each one shows a strength in a real situation, with a before and an after, so you can see what you actually did. Put several side by side and the overlap is hard to wave away, even if you're good at discounting praise. That's often where steadier confidence comes from: not from being told you're good, but from seeing, in detail, what you've done.
Skip this when what you need is critique. If you're trying to fix something specific, a habit that's costing you or a project that went badly, ask for advice on that directly; a best-self request is one-sided on purpose. Keep this for when the question is what to build on.
Other simple things to consider
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Written by Truest, based on Reflected Best Self Exercise (Laura Morgan Roberts, Jane Dutton and colleagues, University of Michigan). Last updated October 2, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.