Changing jobs
Ask for a referral that's easy to give
A micro exercise for asking someone to vouch for you, in a way that's easy to answer either way
Send a short note to someone at the company naming the role, why you fit, exactly what you're asking, and an easy way to say no.
- 10 minutes
- You and one person
- Once per role
- Conversation
Why this can work
A referral is someone lending you a little of their reputation, so the ask goes best when it costs them little. Naming the role, making your fit easy to see and saying no is fine lets them help quickly or pass without awkwardness. People you know only a little are often glad to help when the ask is that clear.
Read moreHow to ask for a job referral
You’ll come away with one clear referral request sent, and a relationship that's fine whatever they say.
- Find the person and the role.
Someone at the company who knows you, even a little: a former colleague, a friend of a friend, someone you met once. Pick one specific role you've looked into and actually want.
Tip: Acquaintances count. Don't rule someone out because you're not close.
- Write why you fit, in their terms.
Two or three lines connecting your results to what the role seems to need. This is the part they're most likely to forward, so make it stand on its own.
- Say exactly what you're asking.
A referral through their company's system, a note passed to the hiring manager, or simply their view on whether you'd be a good fit. Each is a different size of favor, so ask for the one that matches what they know about you.
To: someone at the companyI'm applying for the role title role on team at company, and I wanted to ask whether you'd be comfortable referring me.
Why I think I'd fit: one or two results that match what the role needs. I've attached my resume and the posting in case they're useful.
If a referral isn't something you're comfortable with, or you don't know my work well enough, that's completely fine. Even a quick sense of whether it's worth applying would help.
Thanks either way, and I'd be glad to return the favor anytime.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Give them an easy no.
Say plainly that it's fine if they're not comfortable, or don't know your work well enough. Mean it.
You“And if a referral isn't something you're comfortable with, that's completely fine. Even a quick sense of whether it's worth applying would help.” - Make it easy, then thank them either way.
Attach your resume and the link to the posting. Whatever they decide, thank them, and later let them know how it turned out.
Good times to repeat it: once for each role you really wantbefore you apply, when you canwhen someone you know joins a company you admire
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Referring someone puts a little of their own credibility on the line. The easier you make it to see why you fit, the smaller the leap they're taking.
What might make this harder
Acknowledge it in one line and keep the rest the same. Saying it's been a while is disarming, and most people are glad to hear from someone they liked.
Questions people ask
How do I ask someone for a job referral?
Send a short note naming the specific role, why you fit, and exactly what you're asking, and make it easy for them to say no. Attach your resume and the posting.
Is it okay to ask an acquaintance for a referral?
Often, yes. People you know only a little can still pass your name along, especially when the ask is specific and they have an easy way out.
What should I do if someone won't refer me?
Thank them and let it go. People decline for many reasons that have nothing to do with you, and a gracious reply keeps the relationship intact.
Should I apply before or after asking for a referral?
Ask first when you can, since some referral systems work best when the employee submits you. If you've already applied, say so and ask them to flag your application.
Why this works, and where it comes from
A referral is a small act of trust. When someone refers you, they're saying you're worth a look, and a little of their own credibility goes with it. Most people are glad to help, as long as helping is easy and saying no is safe. A vague ask, such as let me know if you hear of anything, leaves them to do all the work. A specific one lets them decide in a minute.
It also helps to know who to ask. In his research on how people find jobs, the sociologist Mark Granovetter found that people often heard about the jobs they took through acquaintances rather than close friends, an idea he called the strength of weak ties. Your close friends tend to know what you already know. People at the edges of your network move in other circles, which is why a former colleague you haven't spoken to in two years can be exactly the right person. Truest's version applies that to the ask: don't rule out people you're not close to, and ask each one for the favor that fits what they know about you.
From the company's side, referrals are useful. A candidate someone inside can speak for is often a safer bet than a stranger, which is why many companies encourage them. That's another reason to put your fit in their terms. The two or three lines about why you fit are the part your contact is most likely to pass on. Write them so they stand on their own.
The easy no matters more than it looks. It lowers the pressure, keeps the relationship warm whatever they decide, and makes a yes a real yes. Thank people either way, and tell them how it turned out. That's what makes someone glad they helped, and glad to hear from you next time.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Changing jobs
A few minutes that compound
Do it with Truest and it goes on your permanent record, in a Career Vault your employer doesn’t own.
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- It comes back if it slipsA missed one comes back around instead of disappearing.
- On your recordWhen it's done, it goes on your record with your priorities and progress.
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.