Get started

Something to doFeedback

Ask for feedback a day ahead

A simple exercise to give people time to think, so the feedback you get is the considered kind

Why it’s worth your time

Ask for feedback on the spot and many people give the safe answer, because it's the only one ready.

One way to do it

How to ask for honest feedback

You’ll come away with one or two considered answers you can act on, and a better sense of what to ask next time.

We’ll send you a calendar invite.

  1. Choose one or two questions about something specific.

    Pick a real piece of work or a stretch of time, and ask about the part you're trying to improve. What would you change about how I ran the kickoff? is far easier to answer well than how am I doing.

    Tip: Two questions is the ceiling. Any more and the note starts to feel like homework.

  2. Send a short note a day or two before you talk.

    Say what it's about, give the questions, and make it easy to say not now. If you already have a 1:1 with them, the note can simply set up that slot.

    To: a colleague whose view you trust

    Could I get your thoughts on the piece of work or stretch of time? I'm trying to get better at what you're working on, and you saw enough of it to have a real view.

    Two questions I'd love your take on: first question and second question.

    No need to answer now. Could we grab 15 minutes day or time? If this week is too busy, just say so.

    Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud.
  3. Open the conversation with their thinking, not yours.

    Let them start. If you begin by explaining what you were going for, you'll steer what they say.

    You“Thanks for taking the time. What came to mind when you thought about it? And did anything else occur to you later?”
  4. Ask one follow-up on the hardest point.

    The most useful thing they say is often the one they say most carefully. Ask for an example, or for what good would have looked like.

    You“Can you tell me a bit more about that one? What would it have looked like if I'd got it right?”

    Tip: Listen without defending. If you start explaining, they'll start softening.

  5. Close the loop afterward.

    Thank them, say the one thing you're going to try, and later tell them how it went. That last part is what makes someone glad to help again.

Good moments for this: after a project wrapsa few weeks into something newa month before your review

We’ll send you a calendar invite.

If this was useful

Keep going with Truest

Small actions add up. Truest helps you find the next thing worth doing, make the space to do it, and keep a record of your progress. It’s a private place to work on your career, and it’s yours, not your employer’s.

See how Truest works
  • It actually happensWe’ll put it on your calendar and remind you before it starts.
  • Kept with the thing it was aboutSave what comes back in your Vault, next to the work it was about.
  • It’s yours to keepEach thing you do is saved to your private record, there when your next review or job search comes around.

Anything else we can help you with this week?

Making it work for you

Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.

Things to think about

How did I do? asks for a grade, and grades come back polite. A question about one choice, or about what they'd do next time, asks for advice, and advice is easier to give honestly.

What might make this harder

Ask a question that has no polite answer: if this were yours to do again, what's the first thing you'd change?

Questions people ask

How do I ask for honest feedback at work?

Make it specific and give the person time. Send one or two questions about a real piece of work a day ahead, then talk once they've had a chance to think.

Why does everyone just say my work is fine?

Often because they were asked on the spot. An open question with no warning leaves them guessing what you want, so the safe answer wins. A specific question sent ahead gives them room to say more.

What questions should I ask when I ask for feedback?

Questions about one choice or one piece of work, such as what they'd change about how you ran a meeting, or what they'd suggest you do differently next time.

Should I ask for feedback in person or in writing?

Both can work, and combining them often works best: the questions in writing a day ahead, then a short conversation where follow-up questions are possible.

The longer read

Why this works, and where it comes from

Giving good feedback on the spot is harder than it looks. The other person has to sort what they noticed from what they felt, guess how honest you want them to be, and find a kind way to say it, all in the time it takes to answer. So people tend to reach for the answer that's ready, which is the polite one. What you hear on the spot is a first draft, and you rarely get to hear the revision.

Giving people a day changes the job. They can look back at the work, find an example, and work out how to put the hard part. The note also tells them what you care about, so they aren't guessing which kind of feedback you want, and saying what you're working on points their attention at the part that matters to you.

Other simple things to consider

Learn from one small piece of workSwap “any feedback?” for a question someone can actually answer10 minConversationAsk what advice they'd have given youGet past the polite answer, even after the work is done15 minConversationMatch your feedback questions to the right peopleThe nearest person isn't always the one who can see your work15 minWorksheet

More in Feedback

See all

Read this alongside your role page

Tell Truest what you’re dealing with

We read every one, and we write guides for the things that come up most. Leave your email if you’d like to hear when we do.

An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated October 29, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.