Workload & wellbeing
Give a heads-up when life gets in the way
A short message that turns a hard stretch into understanding, not worry about your work
Tell your manager briefly that something's going on outside work, and that you're working to keep it from affecting your work.
- 5 minutes
- You and your manager
- When life gets in the way
- Quick
Why this can work
When your work dips and nobody knows why, people tend to explain it by you rather than by your circumstances. A short heads-up, with no details, tends to get you patience and room instead of concern about your performance. It takes a couple of minutes and can change how a whole stretch of weeks gets remembered.
Read moreHow to tell your manager you're going through something
You’ll come away with a manager who knows something's up, so a hard week reads as a hard week.
- Decide what you'll share.
Only what you choose. Something's going on at home is a complete sentence; you don't owe the details. If you'd like to say more, say more.
Tip: If you're not ready to tell your manager, tell someone you trust at work. One person who knows is better than none.
- Send it or say it.
A quick message, or a minute at the start of a 1:1. Keep it short and matter-of-fact.
To: your managerQuick heads-up: I've got something going on outside work right now, so if I seem a bit off over the next few weeks, that's why.
I'm working to keep it from affecting my work, and I'll let you know if I need anything.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Ask for what would help, if anything.
A deadline moved, a lighter stretch, some flexibility on hours. Or nothing yet; the heads-up on its own is enough.
- Close the loop when things settle.
A line to say it's passed, and a thank-you if they gave you room. It makes it easier next time, for you and for anyone else on the team.
Good times to repeat it: as soon as something starts taking a tollbefore a stretch you know will be hardwhen things settle, to close the loop
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
A heads-up before anyone notices a change lands very differently from an explanation after someone has raised a concern.
What might make this harder
Tell HR or a peer you trust instead, or keep it to a single line with your manager. A little context still beats none.
Questions people ask
Should I tell my boss about personal problems?
Often a short heads-up helps, with no details needed. It gives your manager context for an off stretch, which tends to get you patience rather than concern about your work.
How much should I tell my manager about what's going on at home?
Only what you're comfortable with. Saying something personal is going on, and that you're working to keep it from affecting your work, is usually enough.
Can I ask for time off for personal reasons?
Often, yes, though policies vary. Many companies offer leave or flexibility for family, health or other personal reasons. HR or the employee handbook can tell you what applies.
Why this works, and where it comes from
When something at home is hard, work usually shows it a little. A slower reply, a missed detail, less energy in a meeting. The people around you see the change but not the reason, and they have to guess at it. The easiest guess, especially for a manager responsible for results, is that something's wrong with your work.
A short heads-up gives them a better explanation than the one they'd reach on their own. It tends to shift their response from concern to patience, and from watching your work more closely to giving you a little room. In some workplaces that's the difference between being given some space and being formally put on notice about your performance. Two sentences can do a lot.
You stay in control the whole time. You don't need to explain what's happening or how long it will last, and you can share more later if you want to. The message is about your work: something's going on, you're on it. Saying less, early, often does more than explaining a lot later.
If what you're facing is serious, like a health crisis, a death, or caring for someone full time, a heads-up isn't enough on its own. Talk to HR about what leave you can take; many employers offer it, and in some places the law requires it for exactly this. And if the thing affecting you is at work rather than at home, this isn't the right frame. Say what's happening at work, directly.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Workload & wellbeing
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.