Working with your manager
Ask your manager to rank two competing asks
A one-message fix for a priority clash, and a lesson in how your manager decides
When two requests collide, send your manager both in one message, say what slips under each choice, and ask which they'd protect.
- 5 minutes
- You and your manager
- When two asks collide
- Quick
Why this can work
When two asks collide, trying to do both often means doing both late, and which one slips is usually your manager's call, not yours. Putting them side by side with the trade-off makes the choice quick and visible. Asking why they chose it teaches you how they weigh things, so next time you can often decide yourself.
Read moreHow to ask your manager to choose between priorities
You’ll come away with a clear answer on which comes first, and why.
- Name the two asks and the clash.
What each one is, who it's for, and what exactly collides: the same two days, the same person, the same deadline.
- Say what slips under each choice.
If the first comes first, when does the second land? And the reverse. The trade-off is what turns a vague worry into a decision someone can make in a minute.
- Ask which they'd protect.
Send it in one short message, so they can answer between meetings.
To: your managerTwo things are colliding and I'd like your call.
First ask, for who, due when.
Second ask, for who, due when.
I can't do both well by date. Whichever goes second will slip by about how long. Which would you protect?
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud.Tip: If you already know how they'd choose, you may not need to ask. Choose, and tell them.
- Ask why, briefly, then tell whoever's affected.
A one-line why is enough; it shows you how they weigh things. Then let the person whose ask is moving know, with the new timing.
You“Thanks, that helps. What tipped it? Useful to know for the next one.”
Good times to repeat it: whenever two asks land on the same dayswhen a new request arrives mid-projectwhen you catch yourself doing both badly
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
A choice between two things is quick to answer. A long list invites a long discussion, and often the answer that everything matters.
What might make this harder
Ask what they'd drop if only one could be finished by the date. If both really must happen, ask what help or extra time is possible.
Questions people ask
What do I do when my manager gives me conflicting priorities?
Put the two asks side by side with what slips under each choice, and ask which they'd protect. A concrete trade-off is much easier to decide than an abstract one.
How do I ask my boss to prioritize my work?
Name the specific clash, say what moves under each option, and ask which comes first. Asking why they chose it helps you make the next call yourself.
What if my manager says everything is a priority?
Ask which they'd protect if one had to slip, with dates attached. A forced choice between two concrete options tends to get a real answer.
Should I tell my manager I can't do everything?
Yes, early and specifically. Naming the trade-off and asking for a decision is far better than quietly missing both deadlines.
Why this works, and where it comes from
When two requests land on the same days, many people's instinct is to quietly do both: stay late, split the time, hope nobody notices each is a bit worse than it would have been. Trying to do both often means doing both late, and it hides a decision that wasn't really yours to make. Which of two things slips is a question about priorities, and priorities are usually your manager's call.
What helps is making the choice easy. Asking which is more important is abstract, and abstract questions get answers like both, or it depends. Two concrete asks with dates and a clear consequence under each option is a different kind of question. Most managers can answer it in a minute, because you've done the thinking and left them only the deciding. A forced choice between two named things is one of the fastest ways to get a real answer.
Asking why is what makes it worth more than one decision. Maybe the customer request won because that account is up for renewal. Maybe the internal project won because your manager's boss is watching it. Each answer shows you a little of how your manager weighs things, and over time you can make more of these calls yourself and simply let them know.
It's a narrow tool on purpose: two asks, one clash, one question. If the clashes come every week, the problem isn't the ranking, it's the load, and that deserves a different conversation. But for the everyday collision, a two-minute message tends to save a lot of quiet stress.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.