Changing jobs
Try to fix it before you leave
A simple exercise to give your job one fair chance to get better, and make your decision cleaner either way
Pick the biggest thing pushing you out, and have one calm conversation with the person who could change it.
- 20 minutes
- You and your manager
- Once
- Conversation
Why this can work
Often, the reason someone leaves has never been said out loud to anyone who could change it. One calm conversation about the biggest one gives your job a fair chance to get better. If it can't, you'll know why, and deciding gets simpler.
Read moreHow to talk to your manager before you quit
You’ll come away with a clear answer on whether your biggest frustration can change, and roughly when.
- Choose the one thing that matters most.
The push that bothers you most and that someone could plausibly change: how priorities get set, the scope of your role, your workload, a path to the work you want. Then decide who could change it. Usually that's your manager.
Tip: Pick a behavior or a structure, not a personality. How often plans change can be fixed. Someone's temperament can't.
- Think about it from their side.
What might they not know? What does this problem cost them or the team? What are they juggling that could explain it? Framing the ask around something they care about, like steadier delivery or keeping good people, makes it easier to say yes to.
- Ask for time, and say what it's about.
A short note, so it doesn't arrive as an ambush. If you have a regular 1:1, ask to use part of it.
To: your managerCould we set aside 20 minutes this week, or use part of our next 1:1? I'd like to talk about the thing that's been getting harder.
Nothing is on fire, but it matters to me, and I think it's worth a real conversation.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Say what you've noticed, what you think it means, and what might help.
Keep it concrete. For example: the last three plans changed within a week of being set, it means I keep starting work I can't finish, and I think a short priority check every two weeks would help us both. Then stop and listen.
You“I want to be honest about something that's been wearing on me. I think it's fixable, and I'd like to try.” - Ask why, and ask what's possible.
If the answer is yes, agree what changes and roughly when. If it's no or not now, understand the reason before you respond. Not now and not ever lead to very different decisions.
You“What would it take for this to change, and does that seem realistic in the next couple of months?”Tip: Afterward, send two lines confirming what you agreed. It helps you both remember, and gives you a fair date to look back at.
Good times to repeat it: before you start applyingwhen one frustration keeps coming backa few weeks after, to see what changed
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
A first talk tends to surface the problem. The fix may come in a second, once they've had time to think or check with someone above them.
What might make this harder
Talk to them anyway, about specific behavior and its effect on your work. If that genuinely isn't safe, go to their manager or HR instead.
Questions people ask
Should I talk to my manager before quitting?
Often, yes. If the reason you want to leave is something they could change, one honest conversation gives it a chance. If it can't change, you'll leave with a clearer reason and a better relationship.
How do I tell my boss I'm unhappy without quitting?
Name one specific thing, say how it affects your work, and suggest what might help. Keep it about the situation rather than about them, and ask what's possible.
Should I tell my manager I'm thinking about leaving?
It depends on the relationship. Raising the problem is usually enough. Saying you might leave can speed things up, but it can also change how you're seen, so only say it if it's true.
How long should I give things to improve?
Long enough for a real change to show, often a month or two. If you can, agree the timeframe out loud in the conversation, so you're both looking at the same date.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Picture the moment from your manager's side. Someone good hands in their notice, and the reason turns out to be something that could have changed, if anyone had said. From the other side of the desk, losing someone over a fixable problem is the worst kind of surprise. It's frustrating for both people, and it's often avoidable.
People can influence their situation more than they tend to think. Much of what feels like just how this place is turns out to be a need nobody has said out loud. Saying it plainly gives the person who could help a chance to, and plenty of managers are glad to be given one. If you haven't asked, you don't yet know the answer.
How you raise it matters. A complaint puts people on the defensive; a specific observation with a suggestion attached invites them in. It treats your manager as someone solving the problem with you rather than as the problem.
Not every push belongs in this conversation. If you've already accepted another offer, a conversation now is a courtesy, not a negotiation. Say thank you and leave well.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Changing jobs
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.