Workload & wellbeing

Know who to ask when you're stuck

A simple exercise to map your go-to people, so a stuck problem has somewhere to go

Fill in a short list of who you'd go to for each kind of problem you run into, and keep it where you'll see it.

15 minutes
Just you
Quarterly
Worksheet

Why this can work

Being stuck weighs more when you don't know where to take it. A short map of who to ask for what turns a vague worry into a next step, and a next step is often what lets your mind let go of a problem after hours. It also shows you where your support is thin, while there's time to do something about it.

One way to do it

How to build your go-to list for help at work

You’ll come away with a short list of who to ask for what, and one gap you've decided to fill.

Fill in your go-to people.
One name for each kind of problem, two at most. Short answers are fine, and it's fine to leave a row blank; a blank is information.
How things work hereWho do you ask about how things get done at your company: processes, tools, who owns what?The work itselfWho do you go to when you're stuck on the craft or technical side of your job?Priorities and decisionsWho can tell you what matters most, or make a call when you can't?A second opinionWho gives you an honest read on an idea or a draft before it goes wider?When work is getting to youWho can you talk to when the job itself feels heavy, inside or outside your company?The empty rowWhat kind of problem do you have no one for yet?
Stays in this browser only. Nobody else sees it.
Mark the gaps.
Where did you hesitate, or write the same name over and over? One person carrying every row is a risk for you, and a lot to ask of them.
Fill one gap this month.
Pick the thinnest row and find one person for it. Ask your manager who's good at this, or reach out to someone you've seen answer these questions well, and offer something back.
To: someone who's good at what you need
I've noticed you're the person people go to for the kind of problem, and it's an area where I'd like to get better.
Would it be all right if I came to you now and then with a question about it? I'll keep them short, and I'm glad to return the favor on something you know well.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud.
Keep it where you'll see it.
Your notes app, the top of your to-do list, a sticky note by the screen. The list only helps if it's in front of you when you're stuck.

Good times to repeat it: once a quarterwhen you join a new team or companywhen someone on your list moves on

Making it work for you

Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.

Things to think about

Former colleagues, a friend in the same field, a professional community. Some problems are easier to talk through with someone who doesn't work with you.

What might make this harder

Ask your manager one question: who should I get to know here, and for what? Fill in the list as you meet people.

Questions people ask

How do I stop thinking about work problems at night?

It often helps to give the problem a next step: write down who you'll ask and when. A problem with somewhere to go tends to be easier to set down than one that's just circling.

Who should I go to for help at work?

It depends on the problem. Someone long-tenured for how things work, a skilled peer for the work itself, your manager for priorities, and someone outside work for when things feel heavy.

How do I build a support network at work?

Start by noticing who you already go to, and where you have no one. Then fill one gap at a time by asking someone who's good at that thing whether you can come to them now and then.

The longer read

Why this works, and where it comes from

An unsolved problem tends to keep tugging at you until it has somewhere to go. That's part of why work follows people home: not always the size of the problem, but the lack of a next step. Once you know who you'll ask in the morning, it's easier to stop asking yourself at night.

A lot of getting unstuck at work is knowing who knows. The process nobody wrote down, the system only one person understands, the call that only a certain person can make. People who seem to get unstuck quickly often aren't smarter; they just know where to take things. And asking is usually a relationship, not a burden. People tend to like being asked about what they're good at, especially when you offer something back.

The map is also an honest look at your situation. If your manager's name is in every row, you're relying on one relationship for a lot, which is risky for you and heavy for them. An empty row isn't a failure. It's the most useful thing on the page, because it tells you exactly who to go and find.

A list has limits. If work is on your mind all the time because the load is too much, or because of a conflict, or because something bigger is going on, a map of helpers won't touch it. The load is a conversation with your manager about priorities. Stress that affects your sleep or health week after week is worth taking to a doctor or another professional you trust.

Other simple things to consider

Decide how long you'll stay stuckPick a number now, so pride doesn't pick it later5 minMake time

What to do next

Ask for help that's easy to givemake the ask easy to answer5 minQuick Learn the unwritten ruleslearn how things really work here20 minConversation

More in Workload & wellbeing

A few minutes that compound

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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.