Something to doWorking with others
Let your report own the 1:1
A micro habit for turning your 1:1s into the time your report actually needs
Why it’s worth your time
A 1:1 is most useful when it's your report's meeting, not yours. When they set the agenda, you hear about the problem, the worry or the idea while it's still small, instead of a tidy list of what got done. Moving status into writing frees the time for the things only a conversation can handle.
How to run a 1:1 your report owns
You’ll come away with a 1:1 your report runs, with status handled in writing beforehand.
We’ll turn this into a checklist you can tick off.
- Tell your report the 1:1 is theirs.
Say it plainly, and say why: you'd rather spend the time on what helps them than on updates you could read. Send it in writing so they have a day to think about what they'd bring.
To: your reportI'd like to change how we use our 1:1s. I want them to be your time: problems you're stuck on, decisions you'd like to talk through, where you want to grow, or anything about how we work together.
Could you bring the agenda from now on? A few bullets in our shared doc the day before is plenty. I'll add anything of mine at the bottom.
For updates, let's try a short written note before each 1:1, so we're not spending our time together on status. Tell me if you'd like to set it up differently.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Move status into a short written update.
Agree a few lines they send before each 1:1: what moved, what's stuck, anything you need to know. Read it before you meet, so you arrive already caught up.
Tip: If something in the update needs a conversation, it can go on the agenda. Most of it won't.
- Keep one shared running doc.
A single page for all your 1:1s, newest at the top. Their items go first. Yours go at the bottom and get whatever time is left.
Tip: Over a year, the doc also becomes a record of what you talked about, which helps at review time.
- Open with their list.
Start with their first item and let them decide what matters most today. Your job is mostly to ask, listen, and help them think it through.
You“Where do you want to start?” - Have a question ready for the weeks they come empty.
One open question is often enough to get things moving.
You“What's getting in your way at the moment, even something small?”MonTueWedThuFri9 am11 am1 pm3 pm10 min, yours5 pm0.7 hrs a month, for you9 hrs a year you didn’t have beforeSame slot so it stops being a decision
Good moments for this: before every 1:1when someone new joins your teamwhen your 1:1s have drifted back to status
We’ll turn this into a checklist you can tick off.
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Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
If past managers used 1:1s to check up on them, bringing their own agenda can feel like a trick question. Expect a few weeks of short lists before they trust it.
What might make this harder
Offer a short menu in advance: something stuck, a decision coming up, how the work feels, where they want to grow. Picking from a list is easier than inventing one.
Questions people ask
Who should set the agenda for a 1:1 meeting?
Usually the report. A 1:1 tends to be most useful as their time to raise what they need, with the manager's items added at the end.
Should 1:1 meetings include status updates?
Mostly not. Status can go in a short written note before the meeting, which leaves the time for problems, decisions and growth that need a conversation.
What do I talk about in a 1:1 with my direct report?
Whatever is first on their list. When they bring nothing, ask what's getting in their way, what they'd like to do more of, or what you could do differently to help.
How long should a 1:1 with a direct report be?
Long enough for harder topics to come up. Andy Grove argued for at least an hour, because shorter meetings tend to keep people to quick, simple items. If that isn't possible, a shorter weekly 1:1 still beats a long, rare one.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Left alone, a 1:1 drifts toward status. It's the easiest thing to talk about, it feels productive, and it gives both people something to prepare. The trouble is that status is the thing a meeting adds least to. You could read it in two minutes. Meanwhile the things that decide whether someone does good work, the problem they're quietly stuck on, the colleague they're struggling with, the project they'd love to be on, rarely come up unless someone makes room for them.
In High Output Management, Andy Grove argued that a 1:1 should be treated as the subordinate's meeting, with its agenda and tone set by them, and that they should come prepared with what they want to cover. Moving updates into writing is Truest's addition. It takes away the one topic most likely to crowd everything else out.
From your report's side, being handed the agenda changes what the hour is for. It stops being a check on them and becomes something they can use. People often haven't said what they need simply because no one gave them a place to say it. What they bring once they trust the time is usually what you most needed to know. Sometimes it's a problem you can fix in a sentence. Sometimes it's the first sign that someone is thinking about leaving.
It isn't the right shape for every meeting. When someone's performance is a real concern, that conversation needs your agenda and deserves its own time, not the bottom of their list. And in a new hire's first weeks you'll lead more, because they don't yet know what to ask. With everyone else, hand it over, and let them show you what they actually need from you.
Other simple things to consider
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Written by Truest, based on High Output Management (Andrew S. Grove). Last updated October 23, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.