Something to readWorking with your manager
The Update, The Vent, and The Disaster
A 10-minute essay on the three kinds of 1:1, written from the manager's side of the table
Why it’s worth your time
A 1:1 can go very differently depending on what kind of conversation it turns out to be, and nobody has to say which. Rands, writing from the manager's chair, sorts 1:1s into three moods and explains how he handles each. Managers get a playbook from it; the people they manage get a look at what may be going on across the table.
The three kinds of one-on-one
The essay · 10 min · Free
How to get it
Opens their site. We don’t copy it here; we’d rather they get the read.
- Read the essay.
Notice his three buckets and how he handles each: the three moves he uses when an update runs out of substance, listening without fixing during a vent, and staying quiet through a disaster until the emotion passes.
- Name the kind of 1:1 you need.
At the start of your next 1:1, say what kind of conversation you'd like, such as an update with one question at the end, or a few minutes to vent before asking their advice. If you manage people, ask the person across from you the same.
Good moments for this: at the start of a 1:1after a frustrating weekwhen you become someone's manager
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Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
In some teams a vent stays in the room; in others it can shape how you're seen. It's worth choosing what you vent about, and to whom, with that in mind.
What might make this harder
Say at the start that you'd like to be heard first and would value their advice after. That gives them permission to hold back.
Questions people ask
What is The Update, The Vent, and The Disaster about?
A 2010 essay for managers by Michael Lopp, who writes as Rands on his blog, Rands in Repose. It sorts 1:1 meetings into three kinds, a routine update, a vent and a crisis, read from how someone answers how are you, and describes how to handle each.
How should I prepare for a 1:1 with my manager?
Decide what kind of conversation you need and say so at the start: an update, a chance to vent, or help with a problem. Bring one thing beyond status that you'd like their view on.
How long should a 1:1 be?
Rands argues for at least 30 minutes, at the same time each week, and for never skipping it, since each cancelled 1:1 can tell someone they don't matter.
What should a manager do when an employee vents?
In Rands' account, listen without solving, redirecting or comforting until the vent runs its course, then start working out what can be done. If the vent becomes a rant, restating the problem with no interest in solving it, he says it's fine to step in.
What it says, and how it holds up
It's tempting to treat a 1:1 as a status meeting, and Rands thinks that misses the point. He listens for the mood in the answer to how are you, and lets that mood set the agenda. Written in 2010 for managers, the essay sorts the answers into three buckets: the Update, where things are fine, the Vent, where something is up, and the Disaster, which feels like an attack.
Each bucket gets its own handling. A status-only update, to him, wastes the time you have together, so he keeps three moves ready: points he's saved up, one thread from your last performance review, or his own current problem. A vent needs listening rather than fixing, unless it becomes a rant that wants no help. A disaster calls for him to set his own feelings aside and say nothing until the emotion passes, then to talk about the reaction before the issue; he also calls the disaster the end result of poor management.
This is a manager's view, and it shows its age in places, from talk of people as resources to the swearing. The strongest dissent under it comes from a commenter on the other side of these meetings, who pointed out that a calm, reasoned warning about a real organizational problem fits none of the three buckets and risks being waited out like a vent.
When your frustration is with your manager, a meeting built around their listening may be the hardest place to start. A skip-level conversation, a trusted peer or a mentor outside the team can be a better first listener.
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Picked by Truest and described in our own words. The original belongs to its creator. Last updated October 9, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.