Feedback
Give feedback with what you saw and why it mattered
A simple exercise to give feedback someone can recognize, understand, and actually use
Describe one moment, what the person did, and the effect it had, then ask how they saw it before you suggest anything.
- 10 minutes
- You and one person
- Whenever it's worth saying
- Conversation
Why this can work
Feedback lands when it describes a moment the other person can picture, not a judgment about who they are. Naming where it happened, what they did, and what it caused gives the two of you something concrete to look at together. Asking for their view before you suggest a fix turns a verdict into a conversation, and you often learn something you didn't know.
Read moreHow to give feedback using situation, behavior, impact
You’ll come away with one piece of feedback said plainly, and their side of it heard.
- Pick one moment.
One recent, specific occasion, ideally from the last few days: a meeting, a handoff, a message. If you can't point to a moment, you probably aren't ready to give the feedback yet.
Tip: This works just as well for good work. Praise with a moment and an effect tells someone what to repeat.
- Put it in three sentences: situation, behavior, impact.
Where and when it happened. What they did or said, the way a camera would have caught it. What it caused for you, the team, or the work. For example: in Thursday's client call, you answered the pricing question before I'd finished mine, and the client seemed unsure which of us was leading.
Tip: Leave out words like always, never, careless, or rude. They describe the person, and people defend themselves rather than look at the moment.
- Say it, then ask how they saw it.
Keep to your three sentences and stop. The pause afterward is part of the method.
You“That's what I saw from my side. How did it look from where you were?” - Listen before you suggest anything.
Their answer may change what you think happened. There may have been a reason you didn't know about, or they may already have noticed and have a plan. If a change still makes sense, work out the next step together.
You“What would you want to do differently next time, if anything?”Tip: If their reason changes your view, say so. It costs nothing, and it makes the next conversation easier.
Good times to repeat it: soon after the moment, while it's freshwhenever good work deserves specific praisebefore a small habit becomes a big one
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Within a day or two, you can both check the feedback against a shared memory. After a few weeks it becomes your version against theirs.
What might make this harder
Slow down and go back to the moment itself. Ask how it looked from their side, and listen longer than feels comfortable before you add anything.
Questions people ask
How do you give constructive feedback to a coworker?
Describe one specific situation, what they did, and the effect it had, then ask how they saw it. Sticking to observable behavior and its impact is much easier to hear than a judgment about the person.
What is the SBI feedback model?
Situation, Behavior, Impact: a feedback model from the Center for Creative Leadership. You say when and where something happened, what the person did, and what effect it had.
Should you give feedback right away or wait?
Soon, usually within a day or two, while you both remember it. Wait a little longer if either of you is still upset, so the conversation is about the moment and not the mood.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Most feedback goes wrong before a word is spoken, because the person giving it arrives with a conclusion rather than an observation. You're disorganized. You don't listen. You're not a team player. A conclusion about someone's character invites a defense, while a description of a moment invites a second look. The first puts them on trial; the second puts the two of you on the same side of the table.
The method here is the Situation-Behavior-Impact model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership: say where it happened, what the person did, and what it caused. The last part is the one people skip, and it's often the part the other person has never seen. They know what they did; what they rarely see is what it caused. They didn't notice the client go quiet, or know that you spent an hour redoing the numbers.
The Center for Creative Leadership suggests following it with a question about what the person intended. The version here asks how the moment looked from their side. You saw one side of the moment, and what looks like carelessness from your chair can be a deadline you didn't know about or an instruction from their manager. Asking how it looked from where they were, before you suggest anything, gives them a chance to fill that in. Sometimes they already know and have a plan. Sometimes you find out you had it wrong, which is worth knowing before you've told anyone else.
It's the wrong tool when the same thing has happened three or four times. A single moment undersells a pattern, and the better move is to talk about the pattern itself.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Feedback
A few minutes that compound
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Written by Truest, based on Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) feedback model (Center for Creative Leadership). Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.