Something to readWorking with your manager
Questions for our first 1:1
A 4-minute list of questions for a first one-on-one, useful whichever side of the table you're on
Why it’s worth your time
The best time to learn how someone likes feedback is before you ever have to give it. Lara Hogan, who coaches managers in tech, shares the questions she asks each new report, from what makes them grumpy to how they like to be thanked. Read from the other side of the desk, it's also a ready-made list of things to tell a new manager about yourself.
Questions to ask in a first one-on-one
The essay · 4 min · Free
How to get it
Opens their site. We don’t copy it here; we’d rather they get the read.
- Read the list.
It takes a few minutes. Notice her point about having these answers well before you need them, since it's the reason the whole list exists.
- Answer three of the questions and share them.
With a new manager, pick three, such as how you like feedback, how you like to be recognized, and what you need from them, and send short answers ahead of your next 1:1. If you manage people, ask the same three in your next first conversation and keep the answers where you'll look again.
Good moments for this: when you start with a new managerwhen someone new joins your teamafter a reorg
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Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Not every manager asks these questions, whether because they're new to it or short on time. Offering the answers saves them guesswork and tends to read as self-aware rather than demanding.
What might make this harder
Bring two or three answers yourself, framed as making their job easier: here's how I take feedback best, here's what helps when I'm stuck.
Questions people ask
What questions should a manager ask in a first 1:1?
Hogan's list covers what frustrates someone and how you'll know, how they like feedback and recognition, their goals for the coming months and year, and what they need from their manager, team and peers.
What should I tell my new manager about myself?
The basics of how you work: how feedback reaches you best, the kind of thanks you prefer, what you need from them, and what tends to get you stuck. Short answers, offered early, are usually enough.
How do I prepare for a first one-on-one with a new manager?
Bring a few answers about how you work and a few questions about how they work, such as what success looks like for the team and how they like to be kept up to date.
Who is Lara Hogan?
A coach and trainer for managers in the tech industry and the author of Resilient Management. Most of the questions on this list, she says, came from colleagues at Etsy.
What it says, and how it holds up
Lara Hogan wrote this list in 2016, after kicking off many reporting relationships with engineers and engineering managers, and she credits most of the questions to colleagues at Etsy. It's built for the very first conversation, when nothing has gone wrong yet. Feedback and thanks both tend to land better when you already know how the other person likes to receive them.
The questions run from playful to practical. Asking what makes someone grumpy turns a loaded topic, what frustrates you and how will I know, into something easy to answer. Others cover feedback and recognition, goals over the next few months and the year, and what someone needs from the people around them. One longer question, about the ingredients of growth, she saves for when the conversation is flowing, which is good advice about pacing in itself.
If you're on the other side of the table, the list does quiet extra work. You don't have to wait for a manager to ask these questions before you answer them. Telling a new boss how you take feedback best, or that you'd rather be thanked privately, is the kind of need it's easy to expect a manager to just figure out.
It's a starting kit for a working relationship, not a repair kit. If you and your manager already disagree about expectations or how your work is going, a preferences chat can feel like a dodge; start with what success looks like in your role and how they think you're doing against it. A relationship that feels unsafe calls for notes and a conversation with someone outside it, not a question list.
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Picked by Truest and described in our own words. The original belongs to its creator. Last updated October 9, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.