Working with others
Share how you work with your team
A short exercise to tell your team how you work, and learn how they do
Write a short note for the people you work with every day about how you work and what you need, then ask for theirs.
- 20 minutes
- You and your team
- Once, then refresh it
- Conversation
Why this can work
A lot of everyday friction between teammates comes from guessing: how someone wants to be reached, when they're at their best, what they need to do good work. A short note answers those questions before they cause trouble. Asking for theirs turns it into an exchange rather than a list of demands, and people tend to adjust for you more readily once you've offered to adjust for them.
Read moreHow to write a how-I-work note for your team
You’ll come away with a team that knows how you work, and a clearer view of how they do.
- Draft your note.
A line or two each on how you like to be reached and for what, when you do your best work, and what you need from others to do it well.
Tip: Write it the way you'd say it. It's a heads-up, not a manifesto.
- Add what you'd like them to keep doing.
Something specific the team, or someone on it, does that helps you, and one small thing you'd love more of. It's the easiest part to skip, and the part that makes the note land as generous.
- Send it, and ask for theirs.
In the team channel, by email, or at the start of a team meeting. The asking is what makes it a team habit rather than your rules.
To: your teamI realized you've mostly had to guess how I like to work, so here's the short version.
Best way to reach me: how, and for what. I do my best work when. What helps me most: what you need from others.
Something I'd love you to keep doing: a specific thing. Something I'd love a little more of: one small change.
I'd really like to know the same about each of you. What helps you, and what should I keep doing or think about changing?
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Read theirs, and change one thing.
Pick something someone needs from you and start doing it. Tell them when you have.
- Keep it current.
Revisit it when someone joins or leaves, or when the same thing keeps going wrong.
Good times to repeat it: when you join a new teamwhen someone new joins yoursafter a stretch of crossed wires
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Some people find this easy and some find it awkward. A conversation over coffee counts just as much.
What might make this harder
Keep it light: a few lines in the team channel, framed as saving everyone some guessing. It doesn't need a template or a meeting.
Questions people ask
What is a personal user manual at work?
A short note about how you like to work: how to reach you, when you're at your best, what you need from others. Some teams share them so people spend less time guessing about each other.
How do I tell my coworkers how I like to work?
Write a few lines on how to reach you, when you're at your best and what helps you, share it with the team, and ask for theirs in return. Keeping it short and two-way is what makes it land.
How do I ask teammates how they like to work?
Share your own first, then ask what helps them and what you should keep doing or think about changing. Going first makes it much easier for others to answer.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Every team runs on assumptions nobody said out loud. One person reads a late-night message as urgent; another sent it because that's when they think. One person needs a heads-up before a meeting; another finds agendas stifling. Much of what teammates get wrong about each other isn't the work itself; it's how the work reaches them. Nobody mentions it because it's small, so it stays small and irritating.
This is Truest's take on the personal user manual some teams write, with one change that matters: it runs both ways. A manual on its own tells people how to handle you. An exchange also tells you how to show up for them, and that's the half that changes how a team works. Asking what someone needs from you is what earns you a hearing for what you need from them.
It also works best when you're one consistent person. Many of us are a little different with a manager than with peers: more polished upward, more guarded sideways. A note you'd happily show anyone keeps you from managing two versions of yourself, and makes it easier for people to trust what you say about how you work.
If the real issue is a specific conflict with one person, a team-wide note isn't the fix and can feel like a hint aimed at them. Talk to that person directly first. The note is for the everyday guessing, not for a problem that already has a name.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Working with others
Help people get you
Do it with Truest and it goes on your permanent record, in a Career Vault your employer doesn’t own.
See how Truest worksAlready a member? Log in- How you work, written downWorking With Me turns how you work into a page you can point people to.
- The version you shareMosaic is how you work on one page, shared by link.
- A reminder beforePut it on your calendar and Truest reminds you before it starts.
Read this alongside your role page
Tell Truest what you’re dealing with
We read every one, and we write guides for the things that come up most. Leave your email if you’d like to hear when we do.
An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.