Working with others
Agree how you'll work together
A short conversation for starting a new collaboration on the same page, while it's still easy
Early on with someone you'll work with for a while, spend half an hour agreeing how you'll stay in touch, make decisions, and raise problems.
- 30 minutes
- You and one collaborator
- Once, early on
- Conversation
Why this can work
Early on, before any friction, it's easy to talk about how you each like to work, how you'll decide things, and how you'll tell each other when something's off. Later, the same conversation tends to happen in the middle of a problem, which is the hardest time to have it.
Read moreHow to set working agreements with a new colleague
You’ll come away with a few plain agreements you both said out loud, and a way to raise it when one slips.
- Suggest it early, and say why.
In the first week or two of working together. Frame it as setting you both up well, not as rules.
To: a new collaboratorSince we'll be working together on the project or work, could we take half an hour in the next few days to talk about how we each like to work?
I'm thinking of things like how we'll stay in touch, how we'll make decisions, and how we'll tell each other if something isn't working. It's much easier to sort out now than in the middle of a crunch.
I'm also just curious how you like to work.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Ask how they work before you say how you do.
Ask what helps them do their best work, how they like to hear about things, and what's made past collaborations hard. Then share your own answers.
You“What's made working with someone easy for you in the past? And what's made it harder?”Tip: The answer to the second question is usually the more useful one.
- Agree how you'll stay in touch and how you'll decide.
Which channel for what, how often you'll check in, and what counts as a reasonable wait for a reply. Then, for the kinds of calls you'll face together, whose call each one is in the end.
- Agree how either of you will say something isn't working.
This is the agreement that pays off most. Say what you'll do, and ask them to do the same.
You“If something's bugging me about how we're working, I'll tell you within a day or two rather than let it build. Would that work for you, and would you do the same?” - Write it down in a few lines, and check back in a month.
Send a short note of what you agreed. A month in, ask what's working and what you'd change.
Good times to repeat it: in the first two weeks with someone newwhen a project changes shape or paceafter your first real disagreement
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
If they're senior to you or review your work, keep it light and lead with questions. If you're the senior one, go second, so they don't simply agree with whatever you said first.
What might make this harder
Keep it casual. A few questions over coffee does the job, and you never need to use the word agreement.
Questions people ask
How do you start working with a new colleague?
Early on, have a short conversation about how you each like to work: how you'll stay in touch, how you'll make decisions, and how you'll raise problems. It's much easier before there's any friction.
What is a working agreement?
A short set of shared expectations about how people will work together, usually covering communication, decisions, and how to handle problems. For two people, a few lines agreed in conversation is usually enough.
What questions should I ask a new coworker about how they work?
Ask how they like to stay in touch, how they like to make decisions, and what they'd want you to do if something about the way you work together started to bug them.
How do I bring up working styles without it being awkward?
Do it early and frame it as setting you both up well. Asking about them before sharing your own preferences keeps it from sounding like a list of demands.
Why this works, and where it comes from
A lot of friction between two people who work together isn't about the work. It's about expectations neither of them said: one thinks a fast reply means within the day, the other thinks it means within the hour; one assumes decisions are shared, the other assumes they're theirs. Unspoken expectations only show up when they're broken, and by then they feel personal.
The conversation runs both ways on purpose. You're learning what the other person needs to do their best work, and they're learning the same about you. Being asked how they like to work is a small courtesy that tends to land warmly, especially early, when the other person is quietly trying to figure you out too. You don't have to become the same kind of worker. You just have to become predictable to each other.
The agreement that matters most is the one about problems. If you've both said you'll raise things directly and early, then the first time something bothers you, bringing it up is what you both signed up for. The first time you raise a problem, you're keeping a promise instead of making an accusation.
For a two-hour favor, none of this is needed; just ask how they'd like to hear back. It's also the wrong tool once a working relationship has broken down over something specific, where what's needed is to deal with that conflict directly, one on one or with your manager's help. Norms help people who are getting along; they can't stand in for talking about the thing that went wrong.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Working with others
Help people get you
Do it with Truest and it goes on your permanent record, in a Career Vault your employer doesn’t own.
See how Truest worksAlready a member? Log in- How you work, written downWorking With Me turns how you work into a page you can point people to.
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.