Working with your manager
Share how you work best
A simple exercise to tell your manager what helps you do your best work, in writing
Write a short note on how you like to communicate, get feedback and focus, and share it with your manager.
- 20 minutes
- You and your manager
- Once, then when things change
- Worksheet
Why this can work
A lot of friction with a manager comes from needs that were never said out loud. A short written note on how you work best gives them a chance to help that they didn't have before, and gives you both something to point back to. Asking how they work in return makes it a two-way conversation rather than a list of demands.
Read moreHow to write a personal user manual for work
You’ll come away with a short note on how you work best, and a conversation about how your manager works too.
- Fill in how you work best.
A few short lines for each. Write what's true in an ordinary week, not an ideal one.
Stays in this browser only. Nobody else sees it.
Tip: Start from what already works. Think of a good week and ask what made it good.
- Read it from your manager's side.
Cut anything that reads as a complaint about the past, and anything they couldn't reasonably act on. Where you can, connect a need to something they care about: a day's notice on big asks helps you hit the deadlines they set, for example.
- Send it before a 1:1, and ask for theirs.
Sending it ahead lets them read it properly instead of reacting on the spot.
To: your managerI put together a short note on how I work best: how I like to communicate, get feedback and focus. It's below.
your answers, trimmed to the lines that matter most
I'd love to hear how you like to work too, so I can make things easier on your side. Could we spend ten minutes on both in our next 1:1?
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Talk it through.
Ask what surprised them and what's hard to do on their side. Some of it may not be possible. If so, ask why, and what could work instead.
You“Is there anything in there that's hard to do on your side?”
Good times to repeat it: when you start with a new managerwhen you join a new teamonce a year, to check it still holds
Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Phrase things as what helps you, not what others must do. A preference is much easier to say yes to than a demand.
What might make this harder
Bring it up in your 1:1 anyway and pick the one or two lines that matter most. A short conversation often does what the note didn't.
Questions people ask
What is a personal user manual at work?
A short document describing how you like to work: how to reach you, how you like feedback, when you focus best. Some teams share them so people can work together more easily.
How do I tell my manager what I need?
Write it down in a few short lines, frame each as what helps you do good work, send it before a 1:1, and ask how they like to work too.
What should go in a how to work with me document?
How you like to communicate, how you like feedback, when you do focused work, what helps you do your best, and what people sometimes misread about you. Keep it short.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Many problems with a manager turn out to be about needs that were never said. You'd like a day's notice on big requests; they assume same-day is fine because nobody's objected. You'd like feedback as it happens; they're saving it for the review because that's how they were managed. If you've never said what you need, your manager has never had the chance to give it to you.
From your manager's side, you're one of several people, each with different preferences, most of them unspoken. They're reading signals and guessing. A short note replaces some of that guessing with something they can act on, and asking how they work turns it into an exchange. Their answer is worth as much as your note. It tells you what they're measured on, what they need from you, and how they like to hear bad news.
Some teams, especially in tech, share personal user manuals or how-to-work-with-me pages, usually written for everyone who works with the author. This note has one reader, your manager, and it only works as a pair: your note, and a real question about theirs.
A general note is the wrong tool for a specific problem. When one particular thing keeps going wrong, like feedback that only ever arrives at review time, raise that thing directly in your next 1:1. Tucked into a document about preferences, it reads as a hint rather than a request, and hints are easy to miss.
Other simple things to consider
What to do next
More in Working with your manager
Help people get you
Do it with Truest and it goes on your permanent record, in a Career Vault your employer doesn’t own.
See how Truest worksAlready a member? Log in- How you work, written downWorking With Me turns how you work into a page you can point people to.
- The version you shareMosaic is how you work on one page, shared by link.
- A reminder beforePut it on your calendar and Truest reminds you before it starts.
Read this alongside your role page
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated September 25, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.