Working with your manager
Tell your manager how you like feedback
A simple exercise to help feedback land the way your manager means it
Write one or two sentences on how feedback works best for you, share them with your manager before the next piece of feedback, and ask how they like to get it too.
Why this can work
Most managers want their feedback to land, and most are guessing at how to deliver it. A cushioned, occasional style can drain someone who wants it straight and often, while a blunt comment on the spot can flatten someone who needs to read it first. Telling your manager what works for you gives them the chance to get it right.
How to tell your manager how you like feedback
You’ll come away with a two-sentence note on how you take feedback best, shared with your manager.
We’ll send you a calendar invite.
- Think of feedback that really worked for you.
One time it landed well, and one time it didn't. What was different: written or spoken, direct or wrapped in context, in the moment or with time to think first?
- Write it in one or two sentences.
Plain and specific. For example: I do best with feedback when I can see it in writing first and then talk it through. Straight is better than softened, and I'll often come back a day later with a sharper response.
- Share it at a calm moment.
A regular 1:1, not right after a piece of feedback that went badly. Before, it's useful information. After, it can sound like a complaint.
To: your managerSomething small that might help us both. Feedback works best for me when how: in writing first, in person, on the spot, with time to think.
Anything else worth knowing, such as that you may come back later with a fuller response.
I'd love to hear how you like to get feedback too, so I can do the same for you.
Swap the highlighted parts for your thing. Works on Slack, in email, or said out loud. - Ask how they like to get it too.
It makes the conversation two-way, and gives you something useful for the next time you have to tell them something hard.
You“And how do you like to get feedback, from me or anyone?”
Good times to repeat it: with a new managerin your first few weeks in a new roleafter feedback that didn't land
We’ll send you a calendar invite.
Keep going with Truest
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Making it work for you
Every workplace is different. Here’s what to think about before you start, and what might get in the way.
Things to think about
Telling your manager you want feedback at all can change how often you get it. Many managers hold back because they're unsure it's welcome.
What might make this harder
Try one change and see. Ask for the next piece of feedback in writing, or on the spot, and notice which you could actually use.
Questions people ask
How do I tell my boss how I like to receive feedback?
Write one or two specific sentences, such as I do best with feedback in writing first and then a conversation, and share them in a calm 1:1 before the next piece of feedback.
Is it okay to tell my manager to be more direct with feedback?
Yes. Many managers soften feedback because they're unsure how it will land, and they're often relieved to hear that straight is welcome.
What if I need time to process feedback before responding?
Say so in advance, for example: I sometimes need a day to think it over, and I'll come back with a fuller answer. It stops your quiet in the moment from being read as disagreement.
Why this works, and where it comes from
Feedback goes wrong in the delivery more often than in the content. A manager softens a point until it's too vague to act on, or makes it directly in a meeting to someone who needed to read it first. Neither was trying to get it wrong. They were guessing, usually based on how they'd like to hear it themselves.
That's why one sentence from you can change so much. If you haven't said what works for you, your manager never had the chance to give it to you that way. Saying it is not asking for special treatment. It's handing them information they want, because almost every manager would rather their feedback land than miss.
Some teams write a whole user manual for each person, covering how they communicate, decide and work. This takes a single paragraph from one and makes it easy to share: just the part about feedback, said early. Asking how your manager likes to get feedback in return is the part people forget, and it's what makes the conversation feel even. It also prepares you for the day you need to tell them something difficult.
This won't fix feedback that is unfair, belittling or simply wrong. If the problem is what's being said rather than how, that needs a conversation about the substance, and if it's how you're being treated, talk to someone you trust about it. Your preferences are also a guide, not a rule. Some feedback has to come at an awkward moment, and a good working relationship can absorb that.
What to do next
Other simple things to consider
More in Working with your manager
See allRead this alongside your role page
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An exercise written by Truest, based on our experience. Last updated October 2, 2026. We sell a career membership; where that’s relevant above, we say so.